The fact is, Shariah law makes it far easier for a man to divorce his wife than the wife to divorce her husband. This might be seen as unfair, but it is considered an unchangeable part of what it means to be a Muslim, at least in countries like Saudi Arabia. The unfairness of the religious obligation—as that which stipulates that daughters inherit less than sons—is seen as one of those things in which, as the saying goes, ‘God knows best’.
This does not mean that other unfairnesses to women that result from divorce should be or need to be sustained. Christian Science Monitor reports on the first ‘Divorce Forum’ held in Saudi Arabia to begin to address these collateral issues. Most of the problems come from societal attitudes, supported by judges who in sharing those attitudes cannot separate them from what Islam requires. Bringing the problems into the public view is the only way they can be resolved, but this, too, will take time.
Saudi women speak publicly about divorce
At a divorce forum, the first of its kind, women debated reforms to ensure better legal protections for women and children.
Caryle MurphyDammam, Saudi Arabia – Unlike many Saudi women her age, Maha did not have an arranged marriage. Instead, she wed a young man she’d known and liked since they played together as children.
“Really, it’s a love story,” added the attractive, 40-something woman with short curly hair, who asked to be identified only by her first name.
That’s why the divorce, and the way she found out, was a shock.
Maya was at her parents’ home for a short vacation when her husband’s brother came to the door and delivered the court decree: She and her husband of 10 years were no longer married.
“They don’t ask the woman if she wants to be divorced,” Maha said of the courts. “It was a very bad day for me. I didn’t expect that. I knew there were problems but, I thought, we can solve it, especially as we were living together and we understood each other.”
Maya’s experience, not unusual, is just one of the inequities surrounding divorce that Saudi women have endured for decades. But if a recent gathering in the country’s Eastern Province is any indicator, their patience with such inequalities is growing thin.
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December:12:2008 - 11:25
First we learn something new everyday. I never knew that divorced Saudi women were indicated by “divorced” but divorced men were indicated by “Single” on legal documents!
“She called it “wrong” that judges do not require wives to be present when husbands seek divorce, adding, “Sometimes a woman gets divorced and no one tells her! Imagine!” ”
Well if I ever go back to Saudi, there is nothing more that I would love to do than kick a few judges ASSES!!!!! because they are all full of SH_T
Oh by the way, I might not be posting that much these days due to the holiday season….I am chilling out a little but I still love all of you…
December:12:2008 - 11:25
This article is misleading.
Yes, many forms of Islam do have such gender-based differences, that some believe to be unjust. In a similar fashion, Roman Catholicism prohibits all divorce, and some believe that also to be unjust. And many forms of Protestantism believe that all non-Christians are damned to eternal torment and suffering after death, and non-Christians generally view that to be unjust.
The issues are not and should not be to quarrel with Islam.
Islamic jurisprudence may be unwelcome to non-believers, but religions not held by an individual are by definition unwelcome in some respect by such a non-believing individual.
The primary issue is that there is no separation between religious law and man-made.
A second issue is that there is no freedom of conscience due to rulings of the ulemaa [but not of the Quran], meaning that apostasy is subject to draconian and coercive punishment.
Again, though, the issue is not Islam.
The issue is the ulemaa who have transformed Islam into a system of coercion, rather than the religion of the Rasulullah.
December:12:2008 - 11:25
I agree… there’s an enormous–and dangerous–difference between religion and those who preach religion.
The point here, though, is that there are Saudi women–Muslim by definition–who believe that society and popular interpretations of Islam (whether or not those interpretations are correct) have greatly disadvantaged those women. They’d like to see things change.
December:12:2008 - 11:25
“but it is considered an unchangeable part of what it means to be a Muslim”
With all due respect, I find that comment of yours quite condescending. It assumes that being a Muslim one MUST subscribe to chauvinistic and sexist rules and ethics.
In a way, you are telling your readers that a non-questioning, subservient mind is a PERQUISITE to belonging to a religion such as Islam. I am not defending corrupt and backward social mores within Arab societies. I am defending those who, being Muslim, are working to change these and are not corrupted by long-bearded, toe-playing illiterate judges.
December:12:2008 - 11:25
Oh, I don’t think it’s unchangeable, just that it’s considered that by many Muslims, particularly conservative Muslims.
I do think interpretations of Islam can change and will change. They already have in the majority of the Islamic world, but there’s also a rear guard fight going on to roll back those changes. That’s one of the issues Salafism has to contend with: how to distinguish change that is still Islamic without being traditional.
That, I think, comes only after major attitude adjustments on the part of the citizens of countries like Saudi Arabia.
December:12:2008 - 11:25
I think treating women like waste material, sending them the divorce papers by proxy because you’re to big a coward yourself, considering divorced women damaged goods, and favoring men over women by stigmatising women as ”divorced” and officially calling the divorced men’’single” is not at all islamic in the first place.
Divorce seemed to have been handled very differently in the days of the prophet, when you read the stories. So I think to call the modern saudi ways ”Islamic” is actually wrong to start with.
December:12:2008 - 11:25
What is this “ex-husbands often face no legal penalty if they…fail to obtain the necessary papers for a child to attend school” business? Why would a child need such papers?
“”you are the man, you have the power, you have the authority,” Shammari said. “In the end, the man wants to take over this girl and not give her space. He deals with me as if I’m an employee, as if he has the remote control”
Saudi wives = Stepford wives
December:12:2008 - 11:25
Only Saudis are permitted to attend Saudi schools (cooties or cultural imperialism are the fears I guess). Thus, one has to show citizenship papers to enroll. Sux, but them’s the rules.
Stepford wives had it easier: they didn’t feel the abuse.
December:12:2008 - 11:25
John, I have a friend who is jawa, he studied even in kfupm.. while he and his father are under the sponsorship of a relative. None is his immediate family has a citizenship. I do urge him to follow up and try to get a citizenship since he only has a Chinese passport(which his family decided to drop recently) and no current citizenship atm and he didn’t leave Saudi for a long while. I do not blame him though for not trying because of the really restrictive system they have now.
He is no different than any other Saudi, he got to complete his education to holding his bachelor degree (hopefully next semester)
But I think maybe non-Saudi wives who get divorced have their citizenship revoked. I cannot confirm about how that would affect the children education. But I can confirm that any Saudi citizen with a foreign parent cannot join any military establishment.
December:12:2008 - 11:25
Thanks for the clarification/correction.
December:12:2008 - 11:25
I agree that many Saudi Muslim women seek to experience a society not bound by the current rules imposed by the ulemaa.
This again, though, takes me to the notion that the primary issue is the absence of separation between religious law (as defined by the ulemaa) and man-made laws.
In a society truly guided by the religion of the Rasulullah, there would be freedom of conscience to express and choose one own’s theology.
So, if a woman chose to adopt a Sufi perspective, that would be permitted, or an Allawi perspective, etc.
The real difficulty is that governmental power and governmental compulsory mechanisms have been given over to the ulemaa.
As the Rasulullah indicated, there should be no compulsion in religion. That would include an absence of compulsion by self-chosen theological autocrats (the ulemaa).
December:12:2008 - 11:25
YEah let’s get rid o the self-chosen theological autocrats (The ULEMAA) ! ! !
Not such a bad idea…
I thought I wasn’t supposed to be here commenting…HEY when it’s good its good. hehehehehehehehehehe
December:12:2008 - 11:25
I think this is what Abdullah is trying to change. He cannot make it happen overnight; he cannot shove it down the collective throat of the ulema.
He can and does keep continued pressure on them. He can and does insist on religious dialogue among the sects in Saudi Arabia. He has lightened the burden on the Shi’a, even if he cannot command the ulema to welcome them as equals. I wish him a long life to get done all the things that need doing.
December:12:2008 - 11:25
The biggest problem Shia is suffering from is their association with Iran, theologically it doesn’t matter.. But the problem is Iran is heavily active politically active in influencing Shia population in other countries. This creates some doubts to accept Shia in government bodies because of the fear that their loyalty doesn’t belong to the country but to a foreign body outside.
I have recently seen effort from both sides to improve the relations.. quell extremism and sectarian tension between the two. It’s not going to be resolved in an overnight.. but change will be gradual.. hopefully it will allow a great turn out. I have met a lot of Shia teachers and colleague whom I respect for their professionalism and success. While I met some undereducated, under resourced Shia men who lived beyond their means in villages and had 4 wives. The stories that Shia and Sunnah have about each other now might not all be accurate, bad they still create an opinion about the other side. I do hope both take this time of change to reflect on themselves.. and see how one nation population became puppets for others.
December:12:2008 - 11:25
What you say is true, but not all Shi’a follow Iran, theologically or politically. Many Gulf Arabs, for instance, are of the Baharna school of Shi’ite Islam, not the ‘Usuli school as practiced in Iran. The former do not accept the political role taken by the Mullahs, for instance. The Ismailis in Najran, of course, are a completely different thread of Shi’ism. To group them all together and to treat them the same (bad) way, is a huge political error, though it might make for expedient, or at least easy, politics.
December:12:2008 - 11:25
I wasn’t saying that all Shia follow Iran but what I am implying that it certainly affects almost all of their social stature in the region. Especially in the eastern region of SA.
Its almost like the image implications that all Muslims/Arabs are terrorists/jihadis. It effects their image and renders them target for profiling even from government agencies. I seen my share of radical perspective from both sides and recently I came to respect those from both sects that dared to question the political affiliations of their sects. For example when recently a group of Saudi Shia clerks with a collateral effort from other Shia sect in the Middle East region spoke up about the faith and how its been radicalized of late, the questioned about Khumus (1 fifth Shia followers pay to their clergy structure), I believe Saudijeans talked about it of recent. Its an admirable compromise to create integration. In the eastern region you might not find the Sunni oblivious about Shia, both might have good integration with each other. However if you go question about Najd area opinion about the Eastern Region.. they will think Al Ahsa city for example to be a radical Shia area.. while the demographic is generally a mix of sub sects Sunni and Shia sects, some even have families that have both Shia believers and sunni believers. Yet there isn’t tension between the two sides. Still a Sunni from Al Ahsa might think twice about going to Qateef area for example.. usually people fear what they don’t understand.. even if it wasn’t just.
December:12:2008 - 11:25
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