As one of the explanations for the high rate of clinical depression found in Saudi Arabia [See post below], failing and failed marriages is major one. This Khaleej Times article notes that Saudi youth are brought up in an environment in which they are prevented from taking any personal responsibility in arranging their own marriages. As a result, they end up married to people their parents approve of, but who may not be good partners at all. This, of course, is not exclusive to Saudi Arabia or even traditional Arab societies. Many cultures still insist on arranged marriages in which the children have no say whatsoever in whom they marry. It’s amazing, in fact, that so many arranged marriages do thrive.
Divorces in Saudi western region on the rise
Habib ShaikhJEDDAH — Sixty-two per cent of marriages in the western region in Saudi Arabia end in divorce, with a large percentage of those being less than 25 years of age.
The number of young divorcees is increasing. Some are getting divorced after one or two years of married life. Coming across a 20-something divorcee is not strange anymore. Khaled Abu Rashid, a Saudi lawyer, said that with a huge number of divorce cases, law firms in Saudi Arabia are burdened with so much work that sometimes they have to refuse taking cases. He said that divorce among young couples was increasing and added that a lot of his clients are between 18 and 22 years of age and that many disputes revolve around child custody.
“Children are the victims of divorces. Some couples get divorced when the wife is pregnant and children, when they are born find their parents separated or divorced,” said Abu Rashid.
He said that some people are careless when getting married. Children are brought up to do what parents feel is best and when they get married then they find it difficult to make their own decisions.
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22:32,
I think the article missed a very important point. Many of the young women are becoming more educated and in many cases the education level of these women exceeds the husband. In the old days wives accepted total control of the man in the marriage. However, this is not the case in today’s world, where an educated young woman is not accepting this disparity in influence within the marriage. This in no doubt is putting pressure in many marriages, especially considering the young average age for marriage in Saudi Arabia. The west cost is also more liberal than the rest of the country, where most families provide a support system for their daughters when the marriages do not work. This may add to the statistical increase.
The social system have not changed fast enough to adapt to the realities of today. This is not just the arranged marriage issue, but also providing education to increase the marriage age, increase the engagement period, problem resolution, use of counseling, etc.
01:20,
I agree. All of the above and more! And then there’s the problem of marriages that never happen because greedy families demand extortionate dowries….
16:47,
Saudi in the US has a great point. Theze same women are going abroad and seeing the different ideas of marriage and the roles within it.
Many Saudi women come here to the US with the Saudi scholarship and see a whole different idea of marriage, not just how it is arranged, but the roles, powerstructures and the like, and cannot accept the outdated notions back in the Kingdom.
This is actually causing a lot of Arab women to marry non Arabs. Over the last few years it is become more and more common. It would be even more common if there were larger amounts of non Arabs for these women to consider.
Culturally many Arab women would not consider marrying a black or someone from the Indian sub continent. Religious Muslim women are required to marry Muslim men.
When I ran my blog I had many Saudi women contact me wanting me to find them white American/European converts to Islam so they could marry them. The almost exclusive reason for this is the cultural attitudes of Arab men. Interestingly enough, it just isnt Arab men raised in the Middle East, but even the Arab men raised here in the USA. They contended there was not a lot of difference in the attitudes between the men in the Middle East and those here in the USA.
I had about 8 Saudi women who contacted me because they wanted to marry a non Arab and they wanted to know with how to deal with their Saudi families, getting marriage recognition and other such issues.
About 50% of the Saudi women’s families had issues with the idea, two of whom because the men were Pakistanti, the other two didnt want their daughter to marry a non Saudi, even a white convert. The other half were able to talk to their families and settle the situation and have since married the white converts and are working on getting the Saudi government to recognize it.
I have sometimes gotten some pretty bad responses from Arab men when they find out I am married to an Arab, especially a Saudi. Sad that these idiots assume I dont speak Arabic and dont know what they are saying. Sometimes I ignore it, on a bad day they might get a comment that goes something like “**** omuk”
Anyway, if these guys have issues with it they might want to think about WHY these women would not want to marry Arab men.
19:23,
It’s hard for boys who were raised to think they were princes to understand that they might not be. And that’s not speaking of the Princes with an upper-case P.
21:18,
Abu Sinan,
I know that you have been getting bad comments from detesters. It is hard to balance so many negative comments with one voice. However, I want to thank you for helping these young ladies enrich their lives..
07:10,
Thanks Saudi in the US. I enjoy reading your comments here.
07:16,
Comment deleted by Administrator
23:41,
I was born and raised in Saudi Arabia. I never felt I’m a “PRINCE” and never will. I find it very irritating to stereotype a particular race, sex, or ethnicity. It’s totally OK for someone to look for a partner outside of their race. I don’t see a problem for Abu Sinan to marry a Saudi.
I guess the main problem with Saudi marriages is that neither the hasbund nor the wife can meet and get to know each other before marriage. It’s ridiculas! The old folks over there believe that LOVE evolves after marriage not before it. I don’t believe in the same thing. I’d love to know my partner before I marry her. That’s why I hope things change before I come back to Saudi Arabia. Otherwise, I wouldn’t marry someone I don’t know, which will lead me to marry from outside of my country!!!!
14:06,
To each his own, and I hold no judgements, but I would like to add that often times being of the same faith is not quite enough to sustain a marriage.
Marrying of your own culture and race has many merits and makes the transition much easier. Marriage is tough, the more differences you add, the tougher it gets.
I am also not totally opposed to arranged marriages as long as both parties get to meet, agree to the engagement and get to speak to one another prior. There are many ‘love of my life’ stories that have sad endings as well.
The 65% divorce rate is pretty high. Most likely due to women being more educated, as they should be, and not being economically trapped. More family support for divorcees, etc. Still, those are pretty high stats.
18:26,
I PERSONALLY THINK THAT IT IS VERY CRUEL TO FORCE SOMEONE TO MARRY JUST BECAUSE SOMEONE COMES FROM THE SAME COUNTRY, CULTURE OR FAMILY.I THINK THAT THE FAMILIES IN SAUDI DO NOT REALISE THAT SOMETIMES THEY DESTROY THEIR CHILDREN LIVES, BECAUSE IN MANY CASES THEY WANT TO MARRY NON ARAB, BUT THE FAMILY DO NOT AGREE WITH IT AND HE/ SHE MARRIES A COUSIN, AND IN MOST CASES THIS ARRANGED MARRIAGE IS NOT SUCCESSFUL..OR A MAN END UP TAKING THE SECOND WIFE..WHY? BECCAUSE PEOPLE THEY LOOK FOR LOVE. IT IS NOT TRUE THAT LOVE COMES AFTER MARRIAGE.THEREFORE THE PARENTS WHO DECIDE FOR THEIR CHILDREN THEY SHOULF THINK TWICE BEFORE THEY DESTROY THEIR LIVES.THEY SHOULD TALK TO THEIR CHILDREN MORE IN ORDER TO UNDRSTAND THEM MORE AND NOT JUST LIKE BLIND TO FOLLOW TRADITION.