Misyar marriages are something mostly unknown to Americans, or most Westerners in general. They are problematic in many parts of the Middle East as well, with critics claiming that it’s merely a form of legalized prostitution. Two articles in today’s Arab News take a look at the practice. I suggest you read both pieces before coming to a conclusion…
Misyar Marriage — a Marvel or Misery?
Somayya Jabarti, Arab NewsJEDDAH, 5 June 2005 — To some, it’s an unthinkable act; for others, it’s better than loneliness, but in what is otherwise a conservative culture, misyar marriage goes against the grain.
Misyar marriage is a legal alternative marital arrangement more Saudi men and women are using to offset prohibitive marriage costs and the stigma unmarried women face.
In a misyar marriage the woman waives some of the rights she would enjoy in a normal marriage. Most misyar brides don’t change their residences but pursue marriage on a visitation basis. Some marriage officials say seven of 10 marriage contracts they conduct are misyar, and in some cases are asked to recommend prospective misyar partners…
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A Happy Misyar Union
Somayya Jabarti, Arab NewsJEDDAH, 5 June 2005 — Shaden Fahd and Omar Zain — as they chose to call themselves — are in their sixth year of misyar marriage and consider themselves fortunate and happily married. Both of the middle-aged twosome have successful businesses in various fields while leading co-independent private lives.
“For decades and especially in the Arab culture, women have disheveled and restructured their lives around men or children,†said Shaden Fahd. “She’s always been expected to subordinate her life to others. It doesn’t matter what she is — a doctor or a teacher — when and if she gets married, she’s got to uproot herself.â€
Fahd enjoys her roots…
I do know several young Saudi women, divorced, who have chosen to take part in misyar marriages. The advantage they identified was that being married, even in a misyar marriage, gave them the social status of “married women.” This gave them greater freedom in conducting their daily lives. For one, it provided the chance to get her own apartment (something she was used to having while living in the West) and get out of her parents’ house. For another, it moved her up the social ladder within her social group: having a husband was preferable to having none.
Clearly, misyar marriages offer something that appeals to many Saudi women and provides them with something they find useful within the society.
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July:28:2006 - 23:19
Dear Sir/Madam,
Thanks for providing such a nice web site. I would appreciate if you could help me. I am a Pakistani Muslim, studied in London working in Jakarta. I would like to entre in Misyar Marriage may be permanently. I wonder if you could be for any assistance by letting me know how to perform it.
Your kind atention will be highly appreciated.
Best regards,
Shan
July:28:2006 - 23:25
I’m terribly sorry, but I truly can’t help you. I’d suggest contacting your local mosque about it. Or you might try contacting the Saudi Embassy or a Consulate near you.
This blog originates in the United States, where misyar marriages are not permitted.
August:08:2006 - 08:36
I have become interested in the topic of misyar marriage in recent weeks, after seeing it mentioned so often on the web. I did some reading on the subject and was surprised to find out some very unexpected things about this subject. So I wrote a lengthy essay on the subject, which is available at
http://www.mariagemessyar.blogspot.com/
I summarize these findings below :
The marriage contract “misyar” fits within the framework of the general regime of marriage in Muslim law, and does not represent an independent legal regime. Its agreement with the requirements of the sharia is not questioned by anyone.
Muslim law confers to the parties to a marriage contract the right to set up certain particular stipulations relative to their reciprocal rights and obligations, within the framework of the marriage contract. The parties agree, within the framework of the marriage “misyar”, that the woman will give up some of the rights the law confers to her as a wife.
But, from a legal point of view, this renunciation constitutes only a moral commitment, which does not bind her on the legal level. She has the right to reconsider this renunciation at any time. The husband is then obliged to give her satisfaction (or to repudiate her, a thing he has the right to do in any case, at any time).
All the usual effects of the Muslim marriage law apply, in addition, within the framework of the marriage “misyar”, particularly with regard to the children who could be born from this union (such as the recognition of paternity, the effects of filiation, the financial responsibility of the father for his children, or the lawful rights of the wife and children to their share of inheritance, etc.).
Despite the fact that the “misyar” marriage is perfectly legal, and that the wife can reclaim at any time the rights which she gave up at the time of establishment of the marriage contract, many theologians like Muhammad Ibn Othaymin or Nassirouddine Al-Albany, as well as many Al Azhar professors, are opposed to this type of marriage because of its perverse effects on the woman, the family and the community in general.
August:08:2006 - 09:18
Thanks for the comment and explanation.
November:30:2007 - 23:00
Dear John Said,
I have checked with Mosques, Embassy and with some peple residng in Saudi Arabia. It seems that you have ceated a good story and I can understand your objectives.
November:30:2007 - 23:52
I will not deny that many women may benefit from it like in the second story. However, finally what is boils down to is mistreatment of women and regarding them as sex objects.
How dare someone criticize American society as long as they are practicing this type of practice that goes against all family values. Yes, it is legal prostitution in my opinion. It is about selfish men who care more about their ego than a woman’s well being. Desperate times call for desperate measures and these women who accept it are very desperate. Why are these women settling for less than best? I am here to tell them that they can have their cake and eat it too. There are plenty of foreign men who will marry them and accept them as a complete human being and woman!
December:02:2007 - 02:39
I think Sparky has it right. It is important to note that this form of marriage is NOT legal in the vast majority of Muslim countries and the majority of scholars who have issued opinions on the subject have said it is haram.
It is a pseudo-legal form of prostitution that offers no real rights for the women or the offspring from such marriages.
It is just another way that some elements of the Muslim community have bent Islamic law to suit their own needs.
December:31:2007 - 19:29
I think that misyar rules can be changed to be a normal marriage shared by both of them exept the stay of living after marriage which can be arranged by the wife so misyar marriage is suitable for only rich women who can establish the marriage nest and can share in expenses.But the husband must be able for marriage expenses throught it’s differnt stages like MAHR.Also it mnust be declared